The Prize - Palio at Citta Della Pieve

It's hot. Parched, and yet dripping, I'm pent up like a pressure cooker. My children are whining, I have a headache, my husband has not been seen since he left us at the city gates to find somewhere to park the coach. Nobody here speaks my language, yet they chatter incessantly. Cheeky looking wenches laugh at my little boy with his blond curls, pointing at him - he's different, not from around here. He doesn't need to open his mouth to tell them that. Our clothes are alien, and although we wait like they do, it's in a different manner - they know what is coming, but we don't.

Some men stride towards me, mail clinking, leather crunching, smelling like polecats. They are armed - two with bows, one with a mace and the other with an axe. "STAND BACK", their leader says. He knows my language - he doesn't bother to speak to me in my own. Finally my husband runs up, swooping in for the little one, and bringing him into line before the big man does it for him. Then, the horns begin. The pierce the fetid air around us like an icy blast, and then are themselves interrupted by the canons. The children cower at the wall, hands over their ears, eyes squinted - both shut for shock, and open for curiosity.





We are in Citta della Pieve, in the commune of Perugia, somewhere around the middle of the sixteenth century. We have wandered into the red and blue district, Terziere Casilino, clergy people, although the women certainly don't look like nuns, and the men are not looking at them as monks should. The whole scene puts me in mind of Fergie singing "Be Italian" in Nine to the altar boys. Although everyone is fully clothed, in fact, one may say, overly clothed in this weather, there is a Latin raunchiness in the air that suits the setting. It's the Palio or summer festival, where the three districts of the town meet and compete. But first, there is a parade - a puffing of chests and a stamping of feet, something akin to a narcissistic bull getting ready for a fight, and it's hard not to get swept up. It's wonderful. Passionate. Colourful. We follow the marchers for a short time. They are moving slowly, preening, chatting, sweating in their velvet. But then we hear gunshots ahead, and we run.



Ahead, the Borgo Dentro parade, the mayor in the lead, and the aristocracy of town following. Their parade seems larger - if not in size, then definitely in importance. The men strut like black and yellow cocks, chests forward, shoulders back, noses in the air. The infantry fire muscats every ten metres, and the smell of battle fills the air. Then the horses come, unperturbed by the dissipating gun-smoke, trotting as proudly as their masters. Here comes oxen - tall as horses and twice as heavy, now the executioner, his face almost visible behind his hessian head-cone. And then the teenage girls, dressed like ancient roman vestal virgins in white with floral wreaths in their hair. Finally come the sweetly-adorned tots, strung between maids more simply dressed and carrying samples of the summer harvest in baskets on their hips. The children are divided - they smile and wave or cry and cower.



When the gentry have passed, finally the rabble can arrive, and Terziere Castello enters the fray. And rabble they are. They juggle, play lively music, dance, shout, laugh, breathe fire and congregate in a disorderly manor. Their horses shit on the cobblestones and they dance on through it, having too much fun to care. We follow the procession through to the church square. Here the spectators are thick, and everybody stops. We can't get through. The people here are louder, we can't figure out why, and then the first snowball hits. Within moments, we are all covered in flour, as are the tail end of Castello, and everybody else in the vicinity. A court jester stands at a cart handing out bags to children, and those young at heart, and within five minutes, the square looks like it is in the depths winter.

The front of the parade has moved into the arena and the crowd is also thinning on the streets, and filing into the bleachers. The trumpets are tooting non-stop now, and the drums beat, heavier and heavier, faster and faster. The crowd beat their legs in time, and finally, there is action. The games are about to commence.

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Palio is one of the best, but not the only parade of its kind in the Umbria and Tuscany area (links to festival listings). There was one in Volterra on the same day, both culminations of a longer summer festival. "Palio" translates as "prize", and is not the only, or most famous event by that name. It also applies to the famous Siena Palio horse race, where the 17 "contrade" compete twice a year. It's quite a spectacular.

We ate at Hotel Vannucci, well worth the visit, both for it's excellent regional food and it's leafy elegant garden. We stayed at Tartagli Bassi, in Paciano, about 20 minutes drive through beautiful countryside.




      

Eid Round-up

I may not be Islamic, but I still get their holidays. Being a western expat in a Muslim country, with a husband working for an English firm, and children going to an English curriculum school, we get the best of both worlds - Christian and Muslim holidays. The kids love it - they only have about 180 school days per year, and although I may be sacrificing my sons' chances of getting into a good university, so do I. It leaves me in an enviable position - while we were still sunning it in Umbria, we planned a quick getaway to Sri Lanka over Eid al Fitr, which coincides with mid-term break for the boys, giving us about eight days to play with.

Just to make all you poor non-Dubians jealous, check out our up-coming holidays:

  • 4-7 Nov - Arafat Day and Eid al Adha
  • 8-12 Nov - Mid-term break
  • 26 Nov - Al Hijra (Islamic New Year - falls on Saturday - may have Sun 27 off)
  • 2 Dec - UAE National day (falls on Friday, so will have Sunday 4 off)
  • 20 Dec-2 Jan Christmas and New Year break (English firms give 25 Dec and 1 Jan off)
  • 5 Feb - Prophet Mohammed's Birthday
  • 6 Feb - a day off for the kids just for the hell of it
  • 8-22 April - Term break (co-insides with Easter)
  • 18-12 May - Mid term
  • 17 Jun - Israa and Miaraj Night
  • 28 June-28 August - Next year's Summer holiday, including: Eid al-Fitr 19-21 Aug
Eid al Adha has been my favourite so far - the last few years (lunar calendar dependent, not solar), it has fallen just far enough out of summer that it occurs with the change of season, and a need to rekindle the holiday spirit. It also has Arafat Day nicely positioned so you are guaranteed a three-day holiday, which really means nobody works for the other two, so you get a whole week, plus the weekends either side. This means that every year has included one of the following quick breaks:



Maldives
Male is only a 4-hour flight, and hotels will meet you at the airport and transfer you swiftly by either seaplane or speedboat. To say it is a tropical paradise is simply not enough. It is a fantasy land, made up of tiny islands with fairytale over-water shacks, crunchy coral-white sand, glassy bay water for diving, and reef breaks for surfing. It's a total chill holiday - hotels are villages on their own islands, and you never need to leave. The people are so relaxed and happy they would give Rastafarians a run for their money. There is plenty to do, and nothing to do, whatever you like. November is officially in the best weather bracket. There are still flights and plenty of rooms available as of today. We loved Kandooma resort, which has an excellent all-inclusive package, but seriously, the entire country is beautiful, and as long as you're out of the capital, it's hard to go wrong. Hambone loves the boat charters with Tropic Surf (but that's a minus children holiday only)

Istanbul
The flight is less than 5 hours, and you are plonked right in the middle of the city. Istanbul is one of my favourite cities in the world - it shows a merging of many cultures into a unified and exotic concept. Have dinner at Topaz Restaurant Turkish fusion food with a view over a golden lit mosque and the glittering Bosporus. Stroll the wonky cobbled lanes of Ortaköy, buying kooky crafts made by local artists, then drink cocktails on the foreshore at the iconic House Cafe. Hagia Sofia and Blue Mosque of course must be visited, and the Grand Bazaar (although I thought the Spice Bazaar was better). There is a restaurant called Hamdi on the square that sits in front of the Bazaars facing the water - it's about 5 stories tall, and you can eat up the top. The food is not spectacular, but it's worth it for the view - gaze over the boats decked out like parade floats, the street food and the fathers fishing over the bridge, dozens of lines shining like wet cobwebs. Just walk the city, again and again and again. I don't think I could ever get tired of it. We stayed at the "W", which was great, and in a super location outside of the old town, but in a bustling area with an incredible fish market. The Amira or Rast hotels are probably a better choice if you want to be in the thick of it.

Sri Lanka.
I am simply in love with the place. I have blogged about it several times before (Hikkaduwa, Unawatuna, Colombo, Nuwara Eliya, Kandy). This year we are staying on Talpe beach, near Unawatuna so Hambone has the surfing straight out front. We have rented a five-bedroom beachfront villa with a pool, butler, private chef etc etc for $550/ night, and are sharing with friends. It works out cheaper than hotels, and we have been told this is the way to go. Flight time is also about 4 hours, but then we have a three-hour drive to where we want to be. Bentota is only an hour or so away from the airport, and has a selection of stunning hotels designed by Geoffrey Bawa - We had lunch at Club Villa in February, and would recommend it.


Trivandrum.
Take a 4-hour flight to Trivandrum, and then a 1/2 hour drive down towards the southernmost tip of India, and grab a bit of "India Lite" at Kovolam Beach. There is a strip of one, two and three-star guest houses on the beach, or a couple of five-star options nearby (read previous posts on the road trips, backwater, and Kovolam Beach). Other alternatives are heading into the backwaters of Kerala and staying on a houseboat, or for those needing a little cleansing, a yoga retreat - from a near-Golden-Door-type experience like Beach and Lake resort, to hard core, guru-led ones complete with a complete lack of anything lush.

Oman
It's just cool enough to hit the mountains for some hiking now, so either base yourself in Nizwa at the Golden Tulip, self-camp on the top of Jabal Shams or stay in a bedouin tent, or stay at the Al Hoota guesthouse near Al Hamra, and explore what I raved about in this post, and more here. If you feel like a city break, it's only another hour or so to drive to Muscat. Many stay at the Shangri La Bar al Jissah resort and never leave, but it's a crime not to see the souq and at least cruise the corniche. If you take the beach road back to Dubai, stop at the Chedi for lunch - the expansive lawns and super-slick architecture will make it worth the stop as will the modern cuisine. If you don't feel like driving that far, then there is always the Musandam Peninsular. The luxurious and spectacular Zighy Bay and the less-so Golden Tulip Khasab are well and truly booked by now, but you could still camp assisted, unassisted, or spend the night on a beautiful antique (yet shipshape) dhow.

Stay Home
Back here in Dubai, there will also be plenty to do. Global Village opens again on November 1, and there will be fireworks, activities in the malls, and the general excitement involving live goats being thrown on the back of utes for later sacrifice, and of course more refined demonstrations of Emirati culture, which even the non-emirati can participate in, particularly around the Dubai Mall (more info linked here). You could always do what we did last year, and stay in a local, or near-local hotel. Look into Dibba, Abu Dhabi, Al Ain, Bani Yas Island, Liwa, Fujeirah and RAK. Some might camp. Or 'glamp' at a desert resort. Just don't get ripped off - many hotels outrageously inflate their prices over public holidays, so make sure you check the rate outside of holidays before paying. Punish this practice and avoid them as a favour to me and your wallet -these rogues really need to learn their lesson.

There are plenty of places I have not been yet that are also within mini-break acceptable reach from Dubai. Beirut and surrounds, Amman and Petra, Salala and Sur in Oman, Cyprus, other cities in India, Zanzibar, the Seychelles, Tunis and Damascus (wish I had gone last year). They will all have to wait - but not too long - there's another holiday around the corner!

Home in the big red heart of Red Hill


I've talked about home before. If you're a new reader to the hedonista, I'll fill you in. I'm from Melbourne, Australia, but have been living in Dubai for the past three and a half years. So now, you might say I have two homes - the one I call home, and the one where all my stuff is. But I don't have two homes, I have three, and the third is the one where I am meant to be, and that is Red Hill, on the Mornington Peninsula, about an hour South East of Melbourne.



I have this eerie connection to the place, some corporeal link with the rusty soil, and I just know it's where I'll end up. I can talk about villas in the south of France, retirement in the hills behind Byron Bay as much as I like, but I'm sure my own body and fate itself will have me settling there. Several times, Hambone and I have come close to buying property in this little-England-by-the-sea, but Australian Land tax keeps on setting us back. We have rented two separate places full-time, and now have this mental map where our 5-acre market garden and goats will live alongside our transported wide-verandah-ed Queenslander, rolling fields and native gardens mixed with gargantuan pines and fragrant eucalypts. Hambone even wants a "folly", about a half-acre under vine - let's see how he goes with that one - I'm going to stick with herbs and vegetables.


Hambone shares my love of Red Hill. It has three elements that are very dear to us: 1. Nature - the sea (just down the hill at Dromana or Point Leo), mountains (albeit very little ones) and great big forest gums. 2. Community - an arty yet lush bunch of hippies cross yuppies that everybody else probably hates but I love. And 3. Food and wine - possibly the best in the state. It is a designated "green wedge", land that is protected fiercely against subdivision and development by the government. It's a wonderful place, and it's never going to change (at least until the climate does).

High quality small-run wine has been in the area since Main Ridge Estate started producing in 1980, making it a relatively new wine region, with the highlights being Pinot Noir and Chardonnay. In recent years, this has also grown to include many other varietals - wine growers on the Peninsula are adventurous and experimental, and it is now possible to find (amongst others)Tempranillo, Arneis, Verduzzo, Sangiovese, Gamay, even Lagrein, but the shining newcomers are peppery and savoury black Shiraz, and fairly reliable Pinot Gris. There is no real bulk wine production on the Mornington Peninsula, making it a wine-lover's paradise.

One of the finest producers is Port Phillip Estate, which must be visited for not only its wines, but the newly built restaurant - an architectural sandy-coloured igloo that folds itself into the hillside, and provides breathtaking views over the vines and Westernport Bay. Chef Simon West is no stranger to working at vineyard restaurants, and is more than adept at creating a menu to match the region's produce and wine. We dined very happily at the bistro - not cheap, but still excellent value considering the quality. Cheeses can be eaten at the bar while tasting the incredible wines of both Port Phillip Estate and Kooyong, made by the exceptional Sandro Mosel. His 2008 Morillon Pinot Noir physically made me weak at the knees, and at $50, is far better than any Burgundy I have tasted in the same price range. (yes I know, big call)

A few days after dining at Port Phillip Estate, we ventured into a new place for us, Veraison, at Bluestone Winery. I'd heard of neither the label or the restaurant - a family venture by the Poulters. As is standard, we assessed the vinous selection at cellar-door pre-lunch. It's a very well priced range, all around the $20 mark, with a vibrant Chardonnay, spicy plummy Shiraz, and a great Pinot at only $24. I mentioned I had just recently had a mind-blowing Pinot at Port Phillip Estate, and it turns out they sell fruit to the same. It's a small world on the top of this hill.



Meals at Veraison were similarly great quality and value. They are made by a chef with a lusting for modern cuisine, and considering it's back-block location and obscurity, I found in the main pleasing. Some dishes were still making their way to the perfect balance between delicious and science experiment, but others, in particular the aerated violet parfait with honeycomb and vanilla floss have already hit the mark. The wines are priced as at cellar door, making for a very cheap lunch considering the near-deluxe experience. Have a look at the menu online - it's making me hungry just thinking about it.

The region is both haphazardly wooded and pristinely vined, with a peppering of quaint wooden cottages, horse trails and tea-rooms. Other highlights include the red hill brewery, red hill cheese, the glass blowing workshop, the Pig and Whistle country pub with micro-brewery and spectacular (if slightly overpriced) pies and a beer garden to die for, the Merricks General Store, and just about any antique or art dealer you pass. Have a picnic at Seawinds on the cusp of the national park atop of Arthurs Seat, with the sounds of the birds, the smell of the bush and the view of the bay fighting your basket and company for attention. Drive the back lanes and explore the wineries - some of the best ones, Main Ridge, Paringa, Scorpo, and Yabby Lake are well off the beaten track, so you will need a brochure from the Tourist information or download the map here to help you find the way. If you have the kids with you, hit T'Gallant, Montalto or Tucks Ridge for lunch, and don't forget the Enchanted Maze Garden. Most cellar doors are open all weekend and sampling is free, or a minimal charge written off with purchase.

Stay at Langdons B & B or Lindenderry hotel, or use stayz.com.au, and find a holiday rental in Red Hill or Arthurs Seat. We stayed at the Studio and adored it. Rentals are generally very professionally run, happily rent out for short stays (e.g. one night) and include sweet perks like breakfast baskets.

Make sure you check for events - there are regular markets, food and music festivals - all a bit of fun. You could also look at mpgourmet.com.au, which provides plenty of ideas for filling the belly. If the beaches are more your thing, Flinders, Portsea and more are within a half-hour drive. St Andrews is a secret wind-swept millionaires' hideaway if you like to be away from it all, and kids will love the gentle bay beaches from McCrae all the way down to Sorrento.

If you are anywhere near melbourne and you like to eat and drink, you MUST visit this region. I'm sure before long you will be planning retirement too.







View Red Hill Area in a larger map

Table 9 - great expectations for Dubai

I was at an event yesterday afternoon, and another of my food blogging Dubians asked a chef, who is Michelin starred in his own country, "Is Dubai ready for Michelin?"

He spoke diplomatically for about two minutes, praising many of the restaurants in Dubai, it's rapid growth, and then swiftly changed the subject onto what he loves so much about this city. No. Dubai is not ready for Michelin. I don't need him to answer that for me - I know it myself. But the question to ask is "Why?"

Michelin is more than just a restaurant guide. It's stamp on a city signifies a Neil Armstrong sized leap into the gastronomic world, plus a mark of excellence when it comes to tourism. Basically, there has to be something to see, something to eat, and somewhere to stay that is worth yelling to the people back home about, not just in the singular, but many, many things - enough to write a book about.

You may say that Dubai has plenty to write home about. So may I - in fact, I do, three times a week, here on this blog. But the problem is, that nearly everything in Dubai is borrowed, and I'm not talking about the financial crisis. This is the city that has both everything and nothing. A city made up of the desires of a multi-cultured population and the whims of the powers that be. It is a new city, with a local citizenship that represents only a fifth of the total demographic, and an economy relying on tourism. It has no history or unique culture. It has not had time to develop it's own personality. Don't get me wrong - it has personality, but it's in the vein of Sybil.


But on Tuesday night, I glimpsed the start of Dubai's future. Two fantastic young chefs have just found themselves in a sliding doors moment. Gordon Ramsay has decided to close the flailing Verre, leaving Scott Price and Nick Alvis looking for work. Now, they are both excellent chefs, and would have absolutely no trouble picking up work in any number of the best European restaurants, but do you know what they have decided to do?

They are opening their own restaurant, in Dubai, remaining in the soon-to-be-vacated shell of Verre by Gordon Ramsay. I'm getting all tingly just writing about it. You see, I come from a city where the culture is very food oriented, and this signifies, for me, a step towards Dubai starting to grow up.

There are many great restaurants in Dubai, and if the Michelin guide included Dubai, I'm sure that restaurants like Refletts, Rhodes Mezzanine, Stay, Indego, Zuma and others would be receiving a star or two. But the problem is, all of those are imports. I challenge you to find a unique fine dining experience in Dubai that is not based on it's location (eg on the 123rd floor or at the end of a pier), or its celebrity chef, or a brand name that was already famous elsewhere.

The problem with restaurants like this is that they rely on the name or the location to bring people back. The food eventually suffers. And if it doesn't, then the experience does. It's impossible not to compare Dubai's Buddah Bar to the one in Paris, or wondering if Mezzanine sees it's celebrity chef more than once or twice a year. And that brings me back to Verre. I reviewed it at the beginning of the year, and the food was great, the experience was not.

Now, we have the chefs behind the great food also working the general running of the restaurant, and this makes all the difference. It is their baby, their first child, and so you can be guaranteed they are not going to let it go awry. I'm going to forgive them for staying on the other side of the creek, because it's guys like this who will shape Dubai in the future, and make me WANT to go back there.

They gave us a sample of what is to come, and I like it. The fussiness of the current restaurant will be toned down (hooray), and the set menus will disappear, instead being replaced with a series of small dishes that are designed to be eaten in quantity. Sounds like a build-your-own degustation menu (hooray times 2). There will be a large variety of vegetarian dishes, and based on what they served us on Tuesday, even the carnivores will partake.

These guys have a true talent with not only taste, but texture. Each morsel served to us on Tuesday night was matched with a mocktail shooter. Very clever. They took my old favourite combination of beetroot, goats cheese and walnut, and turned it into a retro-looking magenta canape with crunchy beet chips and candied walnut, and served it with a beetroot infusion. They partnered pumpkin with horseradish, keeping the pumpkin firm, not sloppy - it tasted fresh and zingy, not stodgy like punpkin usually does. Lobster came dressed in vanilla and mango and served with a lime and lemongrass shooter - just on the edge of sweet, and for me, as good as a glass of wine (and that is saying quite a bit). I hope they continue these clever mocktails - in a country where alcohol is allowed but still not for everyone, it is wonderful to see non-alcoholic drinks approached with the same care as the food and wine list.

I wish them well. Scott and Nick - sorry to tell you this, but I have high hopes and even greater expectations. Please don't let Dubai down, because this is the baby step on our path to joining the Michelin throng.

Verre closes October 28, and Table 9 reopens on November 9.  I'll be there on the tenth.

Hilton Dubai Creek
Baniyas Road Dubai
T: +971 4 212 7551


Reflections on Five Lands

I’ve just been scanning through my photographs of the Cinque Terre and trying to figure out what I should tell you about it. You see, my thoughts initially were that the Cinque Terra gets built so high, that when you get there, you are inevitably let down. I was going to talk about the final day, when I climbed up the hill at Vernazza, through the vineyards and market gardens, and realized what I had been missing. That the Cinque Terra must be seen from above to be appreciated. But when I look at these shots, I realize it's not just the lofty views that amaze people - every single one of them has grabbed something beautiful.

And so, I’m a little stuck. You know those holidays you take, where you don’t enjoy them as much when you are within the midst of them, as you do when you look back at them? It’s almost like you need some space to give you a true perspective. I remember Malta was like that. When we were there, it was so hot, I was just tired and sweaty all the time. But I don’t even have to look at my photographs to recall how incredible that place was. The Cinque Terra's great flaw is the crowds, and now I have distance from them, I can properly appreciate the beauty and the singularity of the place.



I’ve been fortunate enough to have had many Mediterranean holidays by the water. And so I had compared the Cinque Terre views to Positano, the architecture to Varenna, the lifestyle to Capri, the food to the Cote d’azur, the water to Korcula, and the crowds to Venice. Compared with all the other places, the Cinque Terre comes in second best (except for the crowds – even Venice had its escapes in parts of Dorsaduro and Cannaregio.) But when I consider the total package, the Cinque Terre really does tick a whole heap of boxes.

It’s a holiday for young and old. The transport is well organized and for Italy, fairly reliable. The area does not have to be explored via the goat tracks that join the towns, but can be done via the sea or rail, and the main parts of the towns are easily navigatiable, even if you want to avoid the hills. I can imagine my Mum and Dad shuffling down the main alley of Manarola, artisan gelato in hand, finding a perch on a sea-wall and watching all the pretty young things engage in bizarre mating rituals or tramping down from the cliff walks with jangling backpacks and the glow of adrenaline. 


The kids will find playgrounds in every town. Like the elderly, they enjoy the icecream, and the diet of pizza and spaghetti Napoli. They also watch the teens and backpackers, and urge them to jump off the 15 metre rocks into the crystalline water, cheering when they do, jeering when they don’t. But the favourite part for them is the transport between the towns – ferry, yacht, double-decker trains, walks on tiny tracks, and up spindly stairs, racing away from their unfit parents to get the winning first look at the view at the top.



And for me and my husband, we loved the swimming, but without the death-defying jumps. We ate at restaurants perched on precapices, wedged in caves and hanging into the water. We drank Prosecco or espresso with our breakfast in the sun with cornetti al cioccolato and panini with rough-cut pancetta. We laughed at our children chasing pigeons and each other in the piazzas. We worked off our carbohydrate-filled diets with sunset walks on cliff-tops, and rewarded ourselves with aperitifs at bars on top of the world. We snapped pictures from the water that I look at now with wonder.  



 
You see, the Cinque Terre has something for everyone. That’s why it is so crowded - in Summer, anyway. It’s a trade off. We are all searching for that perfect holiday – you know, the secret one. But the fact is, if you are a main-stream traveller, it simply doesn’t exist. It has been found, time and time again, but millions of others. Without the crowds, you don’t get the infrastructure. The sights bring the the people, and there is no escape. I’m not saying there aren’t beautiful AND peaceful places in the world. But it’s unlikely you will find them with a Michelin starred restaurant and a TGV train station within walking distance.

So forgive the area it’s one great downfall, appreciate it for what it is, and you will enjoy it. Hopefully not as I did, upon reflection, but in the moment, as you should. 


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The Cinque Terre, or “Five Lands” is a UNESCO listed strip of towns on the Ligurian coast, on the Mediterrarean in northern Italy, encompassing Riomaggiore, Manarola, Corniglia, Vernazza and Monterosso al Mare. Each town has it’s own unique character, while all look similar from the sea.



Monterosso al Mare has the only sandy beach, and is a long, and large village split into the township and the beach. It has the biggest range of hotels, and the greatest population. Vernazza is where we stayed, and is one of the smaller villages, with a small sandyish beach and a better swimming area off the rocks. It has a great selection of restaurants, and many think it is the prettiest. Accommodation is small-scale pensiones and apartments. Corniglia has no beach access (but a new elevator to the train station), and is the smallest, highest and quaintest of the lot. It still almost has a feel of a non-tourist town. Manarola was my favourite – as pretty as Vernazza, but without the throngs of youths taking up all the good sunbaking positions. The swimming was the nicest here – crystal clear, and easy access (off rocks), and there were also some lovely restaurants. Riomaggiore is the most famous, and has the handy option of an elevator to the top of town if you are not so keen on the stairs - worth it to trek to the top - this is where the best vineyards are.

Ferries, trains, tracks and roads run between the towns. It is also possible to charter a boat between them. One would be able to see all towns in the one day, but it would be hard work. The walks between vary in difficulty, so if you are an inexperienced walker, make sure you pick and choose carefully. We spent two nights in Vernazza, and could have done with at least one more, probably two, ideally a week.

We stayed at the last place available at late notice, Lulu rooms, which was serviceable, fairly well positioned, but not memorable, although they did allow the four of us to sleep in the one room, which almost made the inflated price tag bearable. Next time I’ll stay in Manarola’s La Toretta or maybe Hotel Porta Roca in Monterosso. Those who like true luxury generally stay in the bigger hotels in Sestri Levante, or Portofino, and train down for day trips. Poor man’s Cinque Terre, Levanto, is also far from ugly, and a very affordable option with easy connections via train or boat.

Eat at the iconic Blue Marlin Café in Vernazza for breakfast (or a nightcap at the other end of the day), Aristide in Manarola for lunch, and for the sunset views over the water, Belforte in Vernazza for dinner if you’re splurging, or La Torre if you’re on a budget (they also have basic rooms at La Torre).









 

Is youth wasted on the young?

There's a galah on the railing. The scavenger pink and grey Aussie, the gaudily dressed cocatoo, bold as brass, with a screech loud enough to blow the hairs out of an old man's earhole.

Speaking of old men, there's one to my right, tottering into my elbow, who shares some similarilties. He's got a shock of well preened white plumage, is florid from the brow to the sternum, and dressed in sultry beige. Like the bird, he's also here for the free feed and the million dollar view. As am I.

I've been offered a seat with the Catenians, a fantastic group of retired catholics, who've managed to rope someone's son into signing us all into the prestegious Sorrento Couta Boat Sailing Club. I'm here in place of my Mum, who is otherwise disposed having brain cancer, accompanying my super-duper Dad, just because I want to hang out with him. And because I never get invited to this place.

There's only one other person under 60 on the deck, and he's the ring-in club-membership-owning son. I am quickly placed alongside him - not in the traditional matchmaking sense, but probably so that we have someone to hold us back from jumping off the balcony. Because everybody else in the vicinity is talking about ill-heath and death.


The lovable galah before me has more titanium in him than bone. His wife is healthy, stands in an embrace of female crowd over there, being social and lovely. He's been sent out to pasture - the kind that involves shuffles down the boardwalk with his decrepit cocker spaniel, absent minded chats with younger men at the golf course bar, and lots and lots of red wine. You have to hand it to him, he still flirts. His wife doesn't like this, but he's a wealthy man, and he's done it for so long he doesn't know any other way to talk to women. And there's plenty of women to talk to - all his male friends are dead. Australian women on average live 5 years longer than the males, and given that we generally marry older men, that leaves plenty of us alone at 75.

But I'm only 37.... Only.... It's a while since I've said that.

"Youth is wasted on the young" someone says. Oh, yeah, never heard that before.

"Retirement is wasted on the old" I retort, without thinking. I find I'm doing a bit of that lately. Blame it on stress, like everything else, I suppose.

But it's true. we work all our lives to try and support our later 'selves' that won't be able to work any more. It's only a couple of hundred years ago that we would have simply died once we were too feeble to find our own food. Now, we live longer, and want more. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Personally, I'd like to live to 147. And I kind of relish the idea of gnawing on gold plated toothpicks and wiping my unmentionables with Louis Vuitton toilet paper, whilst flying above the world in my private jet fueled on puppy tears and dropping cases of Chateau Latour and $100 notes over the plains of drought-parched Africa (and Broadmeadows, Western Melbourne). Is there anyone I haven't offended yet? Yes? Well, trust me, when I get old, I'm going to tick you off the list.

Or am I?

The one fortunate thing with being touched with a sense of mortality is that you can view life in a different way. The elderly on this Sorrento deck know this - they have lost half their peers. They band together. They clasp onto friends like lovers. They pop around with a casserole in a tupperware container whenever it's needed. They enjoy looking at someone through the steam off a cup of tea in a way I wouldn't have understood only a few months ago. They are always on time, and chastise those who squander it. Like Olatunji, they also understand that the present is a gift. The biggest problem of all is that by the time they realise this, they are old.

They want to climb mountains, study, dance, bungee jump, experiment and teach. But their bodies won't obey them, nobody will listen to them, and everybody assumes they're too doddery to understand the modern age. They have money to travel, but they can't get insurance. They want to experience new things, but are worried it's going to kill them. They know exactly what to say, but for some stupid reason, they either can't hear the conversation, or can't express themselves. And when they check into the hospital, nurses smile at them condescendingly, and call them "sweetie".

So that is why you find areas like this. The Mornington Peninsular, about an hour or so out of Melbourne. The geriatric sea-change site. It's the closest they can get to being on holiday - the beach, country roads, sleepy townships. And better still, their friends join them. They've saved the economy of the area, turned Rosebud from a druggie and dole-bludger's escape into a quaint village with adequate hospitals and better golf courses. It's wonderful for the young - it keeps the ancients out of the way and happy, and gives us somewhere to spend our holidays cheaply. But many of these gorgeous and crumbly old people wish they could be elsewhere.

So, the reason for this slightly bitter and self-indulgent post. I'm trying to see age and death from a different perspective. Not just the way it affects the person it happens to, but also those who love them. It's hard, when a person you love is faced with mortality, not to get angry, blame the blameless, question the reasons. It's a time when you become more spiritual, and then throw your faith away again, sometimes several times in the same day. So for me, I had to find a lesson. And it's a simple one. This is the time for me to appreciate the present. No hopes, no regrets, and a big "thank you" to whoever it may concern that I have found this now, before my first hip replacement.

Pictures are from the Enchanted Maze Garden, on Arthurs Seat, Mornington Peninsular Victoria. Further information can be found linked here


Dubai Kitsch

“No Photos!” she says. Why? The place is dark and dusty, unkempt as a mythical toymaker’s workshop. The advertising for this place is forlorn, and with a name like Fakih Collections (which does not phonetically sit very well in English), I wonder how anybody has taken the effort to find out about this place at all.

I have to speak to the manager. “Can you come back later?” he asks. No. I’m flying out on Wednesday morning. I’m just here for some Dubai kitsch for the folks back home. “I’ll blog about you,” I tell him. “I say only nice things…” No, he won’t budge an inch. It’s a pity, because above my head is a rainbow of hanging glass tea-light holders, just begging to be snapped up for posterity.

The aisles are dark, and warm, and I feel like I’m travelling down the intestine of a giant whale that has swallowed a ghost ship full of travellers souvenirs. They sit on shelves in a ramshackle way, but in families, as if the movement of the waves has nudged them out of line, but not entirely out of place. Pretty enamel boxes from Vietnam, pipes and canes from Oman, ceramics from Turkey, silver jewelery from Afghanistan, wooden “antiques” from Indonesia, glass from Egypt and Syria, the list goes on. It seems the whole of Asia is represented.



It’s laid out like a souk, with doors leading into other troves. One goes to the textile section, where I can buy anything from an abaya to a tablecloth, most of the stock made in India and colourful as Willy Wonka’s dreams. Everything is priced in this room, but of course, it’s always negotiable. Further off here, a secret stairwell leads to pashmina attic – over 432 different shades, I am told. But it’s hot up there – the air conditioning does not penetrate the altitude, and I leave after 25 seconds, bathed in sweat.  


Another door leads to the framing gallery. Four men work over a table beneath a majestic yet entirely unnecessary wooden and stained glass staircase which leads only to a Mezzanine gallery I can see perfectly well from the floor. They are boxing in Omani daggers and trinkets, mini Persian carpets and the seven sands of the emirates. Setting them elegantly in deep black boxes with shiny wooden frames, turning them from trashy keepsakes into art.

Further into the belly of the whale I go, and I find the weapons. Daggers, swords, even rifles hang from the upper walls. On the floor is a baffling array of life-size animals and deities, imposing wooden doors, massive spinning globes, and other things I am still trying to figure out. Further still, and I see the tables, chairs, chests, even a palanquin.

A man has followed me through, I’m not sure why – he fends off any price query with “we give you good price”, and does not attempt the hard sell. So I let him carry my bundle, just to give him something to do. Finally I am done, and he shows me back to the foyer, where the AC is blowing at 40 knots and a few other tourists sit on overly ornate chairs, sipping chai and sorting out finances.

“I live here” I say, meaning "don’t bother with the rubbish prices". Despite the enormous banner to my right which proudly states: “We have taken Ministry advise (sic) and will be moving to fixed price shortly!” and my obvious reluctance to spend a long time going from ridiculous price to fair, he still tries it on. I give him my best withering look, and he laughs, and finally starts giving me fair prices. And they really are so reasonable that I don’t bother hammering them down. I ask him when he expects to be moving to fixed price. Again, he laughs. “No madam, will not happen. The customer no like it.”

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So.... What “Dubai Kitsch” should you buy?


· Textiles: 
These range from Egyptian cotton tablecloths to Indian saris, murals and bedspreads, then carpets, prayer rugs, and camel bags from the middle east, and of course pashminas, ranging from awful 10AED ones up to awfully priced 400AED ones (I got some lovely ones at 30 AED each). Cushion covers are colourful and great value, with patchwork silk ones starting at about 10-12 AED. Some textiles are handmade, others machine-made, so if it matters to you, make sure you research the differences before you go.

· Metalwork: Look for Omani daggers and chunky Afghan jewelery or cutlery with semi-precious stones and hand blown glass beads. Maybe, a genie lamp, coffee pot or an incense burner – they will look authentic, but will probably have been made in China. You may find some bronze antiques, although do take the word “antique” to mean anything that simply looks like it could be 100 years old - genuine age is irrelevant. Silver jewelery boxes are a bargain. Gold of course is a given, but that's not our task for today (not kitsch enough).

· Wood: Antique teak doors are very well priced here – the problem is getting them back home, but most places can assist with shipping. There is plenty of smaller stuff though, including picture frames, chests, smaller boxes, chess boards and occasional tables. Look out for inlaid enamel or shell-work.

· Glass and Ceramics: You have to take home a pretty candle holder or lantern, and possibly a shisha pipe. Some of the ceramics are beautiful – mostly from Turkey, and you may also find some mosaics. Perfume bottles are beautiful, and you can always get them refilled.


…And where do you buy it?


I’ve found the Antiques Museum, as described above (with a map link here) has the best collection, and the best prices. As it is so hard to find, most people who visit are residents, or travellers with resident friends, and so the starting prices seem to be lower. It’s also open all day, not closing from lunch until 4 or 5pm like the souks do. Visit their site at (www.fakihcollections.com) Other wonderful places to visit include:

The Old Souk - (map)
It’s slightly more expensive, unless you are a pro at bargaining. The stock is fairly good, and in addition to the standard textiles, you will find heaps of cheap cotton clothing. No carpets here though. The benefit of heading to the souk is in the experience (as you can also sail across to the gold and spice souk), and the lunch you will enjoy at Bayt al Wakeel

The Blue Souk – (map)
Cross the border into Sharjah, and on the other side of the bay and near the fish market, you will find the air-conditioned souk with it’s ornate blue arched roof. All the same stuff is available here, possibly marginally cheaper than Dubai, but again, you will have to do some serious haggling. Super carpet selection, some lovely semi-precious stones upstairs, and a great place to visit in summer because of that blissful AC.

New Souks, e.g. Madinat Jumeirah – (map)
These are wonderful to walk around in, but anything you buy here will be at least triple the price of the true markets. The only exceptions are some dinky souvenirs, chunky jewelery, and carpets. The carpet stores at Madinat Jumeirah quite possibly have the best selection of premium carpets of all malls in Dubai, and the shopkeepers are more than happy to have a long discussion over price.

Stores –
It may shock you to hear, but one of the best places to buy carpets is Carrefour at MOE. Sure, it’s no grand experience, but the prices are set low, and if you’re not interested in haggling, this is the place to go. Not as premium as the Blue Souk or Madinat Jumeirah ranges, but still very good. They also have all the trashy keepsakes, a good selection of shisha pipes and their accessories, and some lovely kitchen items. (eg tagines, kadais, coffee pots). I have found that the Karama Center (between the fish market and Karama Park) is also provides plenty of kitsch bounty in a variety of stores that can be found scattered between the stores selling "fakes" and "genuine copies".

Your own home –
If you are lucky enough, you will have a “carpet man”. Mine is Mr Ahmed, and he comes by once a month or so with a hotch-potch of treasures from his native Yemen and further afield (not just carpets). "Carpet Men" tend just to visit villas, but if you live in an apartment just reach out to a villa-dwelling friend who probably has a business card with the number of a lovely local textile merchant. I'll bet he jumps at the chance of a sale. I know mine is happy to come back at specific times if I have guests coming.